trapped

i always look forward to summer. it's the time of year when i have no obligations to anything, and i can pretty much pursue whatever i want, whenever i want. i can just be myself for three whole months and not have to follow someone else's footsteps. i can just sit down, relax, and enjoy the moment while ignoring the hustle and bustle of the world around me. it's uplifting, you know?

but it's already been a week since classes ended, and i feel like i haven't done much. home is great and all, but i definitely miss the community back at wpi and how easy it is to get in touch with people there. i always enjoy getting out of classes really early, but whenever i come home i realize that most of my friends are still at college. so yeah, the first few days are always tough. i'm hoping it will get better from here though, and things will start to pick up once people start trickling home.

having some time to myself this past week has given me some time to just sit down and think. i've come to realize that whenever i'm free from classes and swimming and whatnot, i'm not much of a human being. in a way, i enjoy being told what to do, and i love following directions. it gives me a sense of accomplishment for myself and whoever i am working for. but once those directions are taken away, i'm completely lost. i wake up every morning, sleep in my bed until my head hurts, and get up and wander around the house until it's dark outside. i always dream about things i can do in my free time, like learning how to cook or playing drums like a pro, but when it all comes down to it i don't even make an effort to start. some summer, huh?

maybe i just need a change of scenery. or maybe i just need someone to slap me and get me off my lazy butt. whatever it is, i need to find that switch that makes me function again. or else i'm just going to wither away here in my house and pretend like summer didn't even exist.

it also doesn't help that i don't have access to a car anymore. which makes it even harder for me to do stuff and go places :(

in other news, our water heater broke today. i was looking forward to a nice hot shower when i woke up this morning, but i guess that's not gonna happen for a while. sad.

[edit]

so i just found a tray full of desserts, and i grabbed a huuuge chocolate-covered strawberry! i've never seen anything like this before.


it's practically the same size as my phone!


yeah... delicious. i know you want it >:D

note to self

three years later and you are still awful at history.

pretty much why i chose a tech school.